A growing gap

As I develop my subconscious, I am indirectly developing my self-conscious, at least that's how I feel. I have no thesis or support to backup this statement, it is just how it feels. The problem with this revolutionizing mindset is a growing gap in the emotional spectrum. What I mean is, what triggered and ignited this 'revolution' will undoubtedly develop into a weakness, and the more I develop positively, the more I develop this weakness. This does make sense, I will explain a total random scenario, to explain what I mean:

A teenager lost his father, no doubt his entire emotional and mental spectrum will change and become unstable (limitation=time). Let's say he decides to become a stronger person, a more can't-take-shit-from-anybody type, the more he develops this spectrum, the greater he will develop a negative emotional scenario towards his father. To simplify this, he will change, but in two ways, one way would be to become tough/strong, and the other way would be to become weak when the topic focus is his father. The whole idea about bringing his father into the picture would be a sort of weakness for him.

OK, there, a random story, has some logic to it, and at least it conveys my message. This widening gap could bring about great emotional instability, and over time it just grows wider and wider, until a resolution is reached. OK, so not everything is going as planned, my next step now is to stop this 'revolution' and think of ways I could suppress my anti-conscience until I could reach a resolution.

This revolutionizing mindset has taken its toll, sometimes I think it's a little too dramatic, but what the fuck.. I guess that's just how I feel, I haven't ever been dramatic or a drama queen in front of anyone, and I don't intend to be.