Character Discipline

What exactly has happened to me since February 28th 2007? Something definitely died. It's too abstract to define or shape, but it has happened. Something inside, someone living, died. I was so sad about it, whatever happened, was too weird, too hard to explain. It was too sad, too tiring, too powerful of a force that has overtaken my mind. It is not an illusion, I don't feel it is. Something that has existed inside me since childhood (or even birth) died, and triggered this intense character revolution. Too deep to explain, even I cannot untangle it - perhaps it was the syndromes of my complex mindset that died, but I should have been happy, instead I felt as if I have dilapidated... like some old building.

But I did learn something, it was the most valuable lesson in my entire life. Today, I'm not a confused person anymore, I feel so powerful and strong and feel as though I can finally prove myself. I feel freed, liberated, emancipated, from something dark. It's so much easier to make friends, I'm losing a lot of weight, I stopped smoking, I'm usually always happy - too many more positive things are happening; right now, none of the confusion of the past exists anymore. I can say that I am reborn.

(I write this in order to read it sometime in the future to try and understand what exactly is going on in my mind. If someone else wrote this I'd be like who the hell is this weirdo ? but oh well.. what can I say)