Deterioration of Relationships

It has been some months where I have developed positive relationships with others, based on trust, love, and true friendship - but as time develops I observe imperfections and holes in their characters, which make me want to distance myself. There was one person who I thought I could possibly have an amazing friendship with, but she completely destroyed it with her insolent and discourteous behaviour - something I honestly never expected. It was tolerable to begin with, and I really didn't mind her being such a negative and criticising being, because I never wanted to 'destroy' the friendship, but I will definitely distance myself, almost completely, from her. In the long-run, I want absolutely no friendship remaining - which is a very sad thing, because she's extremely smart and I haven't met a single person who doesn't like her, she's authentique par excellence, and circumstanciates all scenarios very decisively. Almost this 'perfect' being, but with zero-leniency. I don't have the authority to judge her character, but it's something that has been getting on my nerves and now her character is intolerable.

Throughout my life, I didn't trust anybody, because trust is a very powerful and dominant tool of control - it can be used against you, if used imprecisely and neglectfully - as it has been done in high-school, a horrible and disgusting experience I would never want to face again, an experience I can never tell. So I decided to completely stay away from people, albeit me being a very social and understanding person, but after I met a few people in my university, I made trusting relationships, and now, I almost regret them.

Ever and anon, we are faced with choices; since the desire of all human beings is (ultimately) happiness, the pursuit of this goal may be very difficult, it can be found in the most unexpected places at the most dire times. This may make a person become very tempted, and make them head towards a 'forbidden fruit' to harvest the happiness. But as with all choices, come consequences; I believed that I will finally be free, and happy, but the consequences are becoming more and more apparent, I feel more and more secluded from reality, trapped in this little box of 'friends', who I hope will one day mean nothing to me.